Shakespeare Unpicked. A B C

Once more I read his Absey book
Where A is Acheron and B is basilisk
For C my thirst is quenched with Circe's cup . . .

Here comes one Jack-an-apes dressed up
In motley non-pareil who only got as far
As D which is a wall-eyed dog named R.

For him eftsoons
Here comes his long awaited
Day of Doom

Fico Fig Figo!

To the Reader

This figure that you here see put, 
 It was for gentle Shakespeare cut;
Wherein the engraver had a strife
 with nature, to outdo the life:

O, could he but have drawn his wit 
 As well in brass, as he has hit 
His face; the print would then surpass 
 All that was ever writ in brass.

But since he cannot, reader look
 Not on his picture, but his book. 

 Ben Jonson (revised)