Written after reading Simon Armitage's poem Zoom!
Zip!
It starts
with three days of growth
and two squeezed blackheads
in front of the telly
ah...ah...ah...splot...and
ahhh.....gotcha
like a rat
flies over the mat
skirts
a bored semi-detached
wife
where they lived
him and her
and their ex-kid
three sets of darts
a pool cue
previously broken over a bloke's head
in a corner pub
real ale
on tap
happy hour sessions
for broken men
with strong bladders
Once in the heads
something went down your leg
is it piss ?
someone laughed
No
he said
zipping his fly
Hmm!
ReplyDeleteI like the poem. I have to say it is my sort of poetry. I like it a lot.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would say is that I wish you would stop using hanging paragraphs or whatever you like to call your odd layouts. It distracts. I am a bit conventional in that way.
Thanks Rachel. The spacing is like gears in a car. Example: "And this is the house.. ." a different voice comes in there, a kind of museum guide if you like". It's basically up to the reader though. The poet cannot tell the reader how he wants her or him to read the poem. That's the reader's free choice. But the poet (if I dare deign myself that) or in my case the bard is allowed to leave clues, in my way of constructing poems this may even include, and sometimes does, up to 3 or more different coloured texts, but maybe I should write a piece explaining all this. I'm la bit like Haydn or Joyce , like to make my own discoveries and inventions.
DeleteI cannot say anymore. I tell you how I feel, you tell me how you feel. You as the author are comfortable. The end.
Delete:)
DeletePat, Never has so much been said with a three letter vowelless word.
ReplyDeleteI've heard Simon armitage reading and I can hear his voice reading this
ReplyDeleteThanks Gerald, you've made my day!
ReplyDelete