Monday, 1 December 2008

Haiku moments (3)

This morning's bardic run over wooded parkland brought a wonderful and precious haiku moment; there patiently waiting, unmissable in a patch of mud, was a pleasant surprise:

two pigs
pink pig, black pig
fat pig, fat pig

or, maybe better?:

two pigs
pink pig, black pig
plump pig, fat pig

5 comments:

  1. Preferred the first, but there we go.

    It's a bit darker, I thought - I liked that obvious suggestion of a possible repeated insult in the last line.

    The second, in it's defence, is quite a tongue-twister. Sounds great.

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  2. Dominic,
    now you've got me wavering,
    the tongue-twister haiku, say it fast 3 times,
    och, it's a swine!

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  3. I vote for the second. ;) It does bring into play the reader's take on the subtle difference between 'plump' and 'fat', on a playful note, I might add. (And I tried the tongue-twister -- fun!)

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete

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