Friday, 5 February 2010

The Book of Temptations

The following anonymous poem was discovered in a health food outlet some years ago. It was on the reverse of a leaflet outlining 10 reasons for buying healthy bio-produce.

The Book of Temptations

Dietary Genesis

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of
all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created ice cream and
doughnuts. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?" And
Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "I'll have another with
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to lightly saute´ the wholesome vegetables."

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, fried chicken-
steak so big it needed its own platter and chocolate cheesecake
for dessert. And Man's glucose levels spiked through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might
lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God brought forth lean meat so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created the 99 cent double cheeseburger, and said
"You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super
size 'em!" And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

poem: anonymous
image: courtesy BS Report


  1. If the cheesburger and fries were a fast-track to heaven, why did Satan come up with them? :)

    I DO have a weakness for McDonald's Fillet of Fish and Fries, I'm afraid. As for banoffee cheesecake... KitKats...

  2. Double cheeseburger - what's wrong with a triple I would like to know!
    May I also point out that Dominic's wife has to hide the kit kats to stop him eating them all on the same day - and what is more she is running out of places to hide them as he always susses them out. That Satan has alot to answer for.

  3. Pat and Dominic, We all have our dietary sins. I must now come clean and confess that I had an 'Einspänner' earlier this morning - it's 2cms of coffee topped by 20cms of whipped cream!

    I don't induldge every day, thank goodness :=}


Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.