Wednesday, 16 May 2012

How to be an almost instant poet!

So you want to be an almost instant poet? Well, it won't take long. And it's easy.

First thing is to find a poetic pen name. To save time I've chosen one for you. You will be the bard known to all the world, well ok - let's say the 100,000 visitors to the Poet-in-Residence blog, as Locksley Hall.

I've also saved you a few minutes with actual writing of the poem. I've done the basic donkey work for you.

Using an anthology of "old stuff" I've copied out some poetic lines and phrases from several long forgotten poets and poems. These tidbits I've written on bits of paper which I've shuffled about on the table until I've got the basic skeleton of the poem. (3 minutes).

Some scribblings and crossings out were needed to make some kind of sense. (1 minute)

It's best to give a poem a boring title if the historical record of English verse is anything to go by. So naturally I have done so. And what's more I've also typed it for you! (2 minutes).


The unpurged images of day receed . . .

We sit together at one summer's end
Friend of the wise and teacher of the good

What is he buzzing in my ears?
Grow old along with me?

The wind flaps loose, the wind is still
Clouds linger and extend in solid bars

The rain sets early in tonight, he says
That civilization may not sink

He's seen the bishop on the road
His shadow falls on the castle walls

A dappled partridge flecked with blood
Of heaven and hell

It has no power to sing

Eat well and drink
Tomorrow you shall die it said

The woods decay
The woods decay and fall

The wind sways in the pines
And I dream of the red rose tree

Of someone waiting there for me . . .

Locksley Hall

Congratulations you are now a poet!

You should for the rest of the day forget about your poem.

After 24 hours has elapsed spend 2 minutes revising it to bring it to perfection.

Total time per poem: 8 minutes.


  1. Haha! Locksley Hall - poem by Lawn Ten. I thought you meant Loxley Hall - home of the Pargiters in the Archers, from the roof of which Nigel Pargiter fell to his death not so long ago (immortalised on Youtube somewhere).

  2. My goodness Dominic that's pure drama!


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