Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Vienna Man Fined for Loud Burp

to belch
or not to belch
that is the question

whether 'tis nobler to suffer
the sinful side effects
of the doner kebab

steeped in spicy sauce
and cold sharp slices
of onion

and rumbling
in the grumbling belly

when not to belch
denies that natural reflex
with visage blue

as the policeman's
there on the corner

notebook in hand
and pencil poised 
ready to swing into action

should the bodily gasses
loudly escape
into the realm of the fun park

offending the sensitive ears 
of the law 
which will surely lead to

the hand
on the shoulder
and the consequent fine

oh, the spirit is willing
but . . . the stomach . . .  the stomach
is weak . . . 


O what 
a blessed release
from gastric discomfort

every cent 
of 70 euros


bardic burping footnote: in some countries, notably India where they have burping contests, a burp is a sign that you have enjoyed your meal. Australians are said to appreciate a burp, the longer and louder the better, but I don't know if that's true.


  1. Gwil - I needed a good laugh this morning to get me going - and this created it!

  2. Last time I was in the Prater Park an audacious and impolite horse farted nearby. What a pong!

  3. Was it the for loudness of the belch or the extra methane that was emitted into the atmosphere ?

    1. Whatever it was it was definitely better out than in. It could have been worse. The other end. The Guinness book of records mentions a world record burp of 109 decibels. Louder than a jackhammer. Maybe the culprit can try for 110.

  4. __Soon, world wide, we'll be suing birds if they leave marks on our automobiles.
    ____OOOOOOPS!!!! Walk ahead of me_!

    1. We shall walk side by side into the aerial shit storm. And as we go we can reflect on the case of a hundred year old bird a denizen of the City of Angels hobbling with stick too slowly for the swift changing traffic lights doubtless crossing the severals lanes of the road at her snails pace while holding up the honking flow of traffic for a few rush hour minutes and being fined an appropriate sum of greenbacks. No crumb of comfort offered.

  5. Wait - seriously? A man was fined for burping in public? I applaud him for inspiring your delightful poetic response.

    1. Seriously. And the story is going viral. News media far and wide lately reporting it. The man says he will appeal the sentence. And on Saturday a flsh mob is visit the location at the Prater Park and have a mass burping event. The location is famous for the scene played out on the Big Wheel (the 'Riesenrad') in the Orson Wells film of Graham Greene's novel The Third Man.


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