Thursday, 3 September 2015

Limericks



   In an Austrian textbook for students of English (pub. 1954) I discovered some new limericks; that is to say they were completely new to me, all except one that is.  The limerick beginning "There was a young fellow of Ealing . . . " is one that many of us will have cut our teeth on. 


Limericks are like pre-packed supermarket tomatoes; you must take the bad with the good. 


I hope some of these are to your taste:  


There was a young seedsman of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month, silly ass, 
He was covered with grass
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds. 


There was a young fellow of Ealing,

Devoid of all delicate feeling.
When he read on the door,
"Please don't spit on the floor!"
He immediately spat on the ceiling. 


There was a young fellow of Perth,

Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married - they say -
On his wife's wedding day
And he died - when he quitted the earth. 


There was a young man of Bengal,

Who went to a fancy-dress ball.
He went, just for fun,
Dressed up as a bun, 
And a dog ate him up in the hall. 


Said an incautious lady of Wales,

"A smell of escaped gas prevails."
So she searched with a light,
And later that night 
Was collected - in seventeen pails. 


and finally:


There was an old girl of Uganda,

Renowned for her coolness and candour.
When during abuse,
Her spouse yelled, "You goose!"
She immediately answered, "You gander!"



6 comments:

  1. found some where or other.

    This year I have something to boast:
    I remembered your birthday (almost).
    This card may be late
    but it's close to the date.
    Let's pretend it got lost in the post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. :-))
    Thanks for a wonderful start to the day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Thanks Gerald. I like the one from HW and I like you I like the Welsh one too :), I guess we Taffies are used to being the but of jokes!

      Delete
  4. no ifs or buts
    but it should be
    the 'butt' of jokes

    ReplyDelete

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