Thursday 3 September 2015

Limericks



   In an Austrian textbook for students of English (pub. 1954) I discovered some new limericks; that is to say they were completely new to me, all except one that is.  The limerick beginning "There was a young fellow of Ealing . . . " is one that many of us will have cut our teeth on. 


Limericks are like pre-packed supermarket tomatoes; you must take the bad with the good. 


I hope some of these are to your taste:  


There was a young seedsman of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month, silly ass, 
He was covered with grass
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds. 


There was a young fellow of Ealing,

Devoid of all delicate feeling.
When he read on the door,
"Please don't spit on the floor!"
He immediately spat on the ceiling. 


There was a young fellow of Perth,

Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married - they say -
On his wife's wedding day
And he died - when he quitted the earth. 


There was a young man of Bengal,

Who went to a fancy-dress ball.
He went, just for fun,
Dressed up as a bun, 
And a dog ate him up in the hall. 


Said an incautious lady of Wales,

"A smell of escaped gas prevails."
So she searched with a light,
And later that night 
Was collected - in seventeen pails. 


and finally:


There was an old girl of Uganda,

Renowned for her coolness and candour.
When during abuse,
Her spouse yelled, "You goose!"
She immediately answered, "You gander!"



6 comments:

  1. found some where or other.

    This year I have something to boast:
    I remembered your birthday (almost).
    This card may be late
    but it's close to the date.
    Let's pretend it got lost in the post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. :-))
    Thanks for a wonderful start to the day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Thanks Gerald. I like the one from HW and I like you I like the Welsh one too :), I guess we Taffies are used to being the but of jokes!

      Delete
  4. no ifs or buts
    but it should be
    the 'butt' of jokes

    ReplyDelete
  5. Loved the limericks. Thank you

    ReplyDelete

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.