Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Cinquain 2


The moon  
cloud shapes of predawn sky; 
new cloud behind the minaret


  1. Do you think George will give you another tutorial?

  2. Replies
    1. As George is very busy I will give you a tutorial instead:
      You kept well to the fixed syllable count and I like the moon silhouetting the clouds of darkness in the early light and you have a good rhythm going to this point. You could have been a little braver with the final drop.

    2. You are a good substitute for George. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is on the box. Days of innocence when people only had to worry about their teeth and where the coal shovel was.

    3. Like the days when all we had was our school mac for best and a Mars bar was cut up and shared between six.

  3. I feel that there is more to this than immediately meets the eye Gwil.

  4. Pat, I don't understand it myself really. I think it means that after the darkness there will be light and the new cloud, or new kind of cloud, perhaps filled with goodness and hope, will be revealed. Something like that is my hope for the future.


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